During my pregnancy with Ryland I had some major fear and anxiety over my delivery. I can’t really explain why, as I had a great experience with Colton’s delivery, except that it was just a spiritual battle I needed to work through. I spent a lot of time preparing myself mentally and in the bible to tear down my fear and build up my faith so that when the time came to deliver Ryland I could do it with a peaceful mind and heart, knowing that would make the whole process a lot more enjoyable and easier on my body. So much of the experience to me is mental. I was afraid if i expected as good of a delivery as I had with Colton and it WAS harder that I wouldn’t be able to handle it. As I stripped my fear and opened my mind, believing that God would help me no matter what came my way, he proved to be faithful yet again!
On July 2nd I had my usual evening contractions (which always stopped after an hour) every 7 minutes. After a trip to the bathroom I laid on the couch to continue watching a tv show when I felt a gush of water. Knowing I had just gone to the bathroom I knew it was unlikely an accident, and after this water continued to come I knew my water had broken. We called Ashley to come stay with Colton and got everything in order to go to the hospital. When we did arrive at the hospital around 10:30 I requested the water birthing room as I had with Colton and it was available, the first of many answers to prayer. The midwife didn’t believe I was actually in labor until after she examined me and I was already at 4 cm. So she let us be and came a couple hours later to check on me. I asked her to examine me again and she was shocked to find that I was 6 cm, saying to me when she looks at me she doesn’t believe I’m in labor, but now knows I’m moving much quicker than she thought. This is the best compliment as it reminded me of the peace God was giving me and the biggest answer to prayer I needed. At this point my contractions were getting stronger, but still manageable. I moved into the Jacuzzi after this, close to 1am. At 2:30 I could feel him transitioning down and was 8cm. Less than an hour later I was ready to push and after only 10 mins he was here and in my arms. After only 6 hours of labor and 10 mins of pushing, another answer to prayer.
Many things can come unexpectedly and take us off guard, and allowing myself to be afraid of that was miserable. This process helped me to overcome the fear of the unknown and just trust God to give me what I need to handle every situation, to focus on his capability in me instead of worrying what I can do and if I can do it. I’m so thankful for this delivery and am blown away that this little guy actually came out of me, such a surreal thing.